Wanting.

From 9/2018

Wanting

I wanted to feel your touch.

One hand on my chest.

While the other caressed the rest.

I yearned for connection...

And was left with an empty sensation.

I thought I needed your beautifully strong arms to hold me close. I thought I needed your love the most.

I laid there in solitude... tracing through my memories...

no sense of latitude or longitude.

Distracted at times and aware of its illusion,

My mind tried to ponder up a ton of confusion.

Through the fears and the tears I was able to see... to go back into my memory.

To a time in my life where I created many schemes... many of which to make sense of things.

Wow what a creative mind I sure had... to make up that I was so bad.

Indeed this was not true and yet I would’ve sworn it until I turned blue.

No way could I be pure and lived to endure... such things you see, did not define me.

For I am love. And I am free. And thank goodness for the opportunity to forgive me.

What I wanted was to be.

*** Looking in my phone for something and this popped up. I wanted to share as it still stands true. Wherever I go, there I am. I’m so grateful to finally be learning and integrating the beautiful depths of my own soul and worthiness. I am not defined by anyone’s desire for me. By anyone’s presence… or absence. I am simply Lovable. No matter what. Such relief in Kgnowing this <3